I took a bit of time off.
The plan was simple: accomplish everything I’ve ever thought about doing. Weed the garden, do the laundry, write a novel (just a short one), rip out a wall, maybe dismantle capitalism — you know. The usual.
Instead, the week handed me a melted air conditioner, a fritzy hot water tank, and cereal.
I handed it back a posie of flowers.
Here’s what happened during my illustrious week off.
🔥 The Heat Was An Asskicker
The air conditioner conked out after a 4 day heatwave of 40C (104F) but it was fixed before the next 4 day heatwave of 40C (104F) which occurred 2 days later.
I stood in front of the fridge a lot, not looking for food - just visiting, turned all the fans on myself in bed, slept on top of the covers, cried a little and the rest of the usual things you do.
I'm in menopause. I can't regulate my body temperature at the best of times let alone when climate change is flexing.
Also, did I mention in this particular part of Canada we have what's commonly known as humidity. Uncommonly it's known as the Devil's vapour.
As I was recovering from that small ordeal, the hot water tank stopped doing the only thing it was hired to do - make hot water.
Now I'm in a position where what I want to be hot is cold and what I want to be cold is hot. I was vacationing in upside down land.
A couple of days later, after a temporary fix that involved banging on the hot water tank, the tank broke again.
As I write this, I’m waiting for the real fix — the kind that comes between noon and the end of time.
🥦 The Broccoli & Cauliflower Were Harvested
Despite the setbacks indoors, I did manage to pull off something in the garden — the broccoli and cauliflower were ready, so I harvested the whole bed. This was the first cutting.
If you’ve never felt the pride holding an entire head of cauliflower like it’s a baby at a christening, I highly recommend it.
I used some of it to make my curried cauliflower soup, which is creamy and comforting and freezes beautifully.
I ate a bowl for dinner and the rest went into the freezer for future Karen. She’ll be thrilled. Especially if her water heater still works.
👖 I Ordered Size 26 Shorts. Spoiler: They Were 26W
Just a day earlier I was talking with someone about ordering things online and then receiving them and realizing they are NOT the size you thought. Whether it's a mug or a lamp or in this case - a pair of shorts.
I thought I’d found the perfect summer shorts — white Levi’s, marked size 26. Simple. Classic. On sale. I clicked “Buy Now”.
They arrived. I opened the package. Held them up for scrutiny.
Turns out, 26W doesn’t mean “waist size 26.” It means Women’s Plus Size 26, which has a waist measurement of 49, which is 26+23. It’s a completely different sizing system that I had no idea existed.
I'll probably return them.
🍁 I Went to Three Garden Parties and a Flea Market
I also spent vacation time doing something I rarely do — I was social. With people and everything.
There was a Canada Day party, a retirement party, a casual backyard hangout with swimming at Betty's, followed by a Dahlia Society party.
At the Dahlia party, I did the following:
- Won a watering can in the raffle.
- Fell for a sweet pea called Nimbus (in the photo at the top of this section)— a misty grey-lilac one that looks like it's been airbrushed and paint splattered. Found out the seed came from Antonio Valente seeds so I'll be ordering those when they're available again.
- Released litres of sweat.
Would you like to save this stuff?
We'll email you this post, so you can refer to it later.
It was so hot at the dahlia garden party I'm sure the lawn has since died from the salt exposure of 75 humans sweating directly into the grass.
I also hit the Aberfoyle flea market, where I found the most perfect tissue box holder I’ve ever laid eyes on.
Hours of ducking out of the sun into the hotbox booths, through the hazy lines of heatstroke, and the best thing I found ... was a tissue box that's currently available on Amazon.
I did get french fries (as is my habit) and I went with a friend I haven't antiqued with in decades so it was still a worthwhile trip. Plus, we got ice cream coneson the way home so it's pretty hard to ruin that kind of a day.
That tissue box is 100% going to be added to this year's Christmas Gift Guide incidentally.
🌿 I Took Down the Front Yard Cress
The cress was starting to dry and die so I cut it down to make room for the bright green celosia cristata that were planted underneath. Hopefully they'll look like giant green brains once they've finished growing.
I cut it all down, bundled it up, and thought about making a wreath from the cress the same way I made one from kale seed pods.
That lasted for about 12 seconds — until I remembered they'd look just fine in a vase.
So I shoved it all in a vase instead. Done. Finished. The end.
🐩 Philip Had a Houseguest
I watched Sterling, Philip’s best friend (in theory), for a few days. Sterling is more of a stoic observer of life. He enjoys sunbeams, slow walks, and periods of uninterrupted silence.
Philip is more of a high-speed clown car. He enjoys parkour, sneak attacks, and being the loudest living creature in a 3-block radius.
Sterling spent most of his visit delicately avoiding Philip. They got along. In a restrained, British sitcom sort of way.
When they were a bit younger they'd play all day and night. Sterling has grown out of that and mainly sits quietly while Philip does back handsprings into his best friend's face in an attempt to get his attention.
🥄 I Made Myself Healthy Pinterest Worthy Meals
This was one of my more... aspirational dinners.
Let me describe it for you:
- 2 slices of bread - toasted
- A bowl of Shreddies (you can see I've gone above and beyond with this one, as I've even added milk to the cereal)
- One piece of toast got slathered in peanut butter, the other in jam, and then I slammed them together at which point they became a toasted peanut butter and jam experience.
It was delicious. Another night I had one of those ridiculous Juicy Jumbos and my opinion remains unchanged.
🦉 Mr. Snacks Is Back
A couple of mornings ago I looked up and there he was. Snacks, the owl, has returned. I assume it's Snacks or Snacks' prodigy based on how nonchallant he was around Philip and I in the backyard.
It was exactly this time last year that Snacks returned with his baby to teach it to fly. You can see video of last year's baby owl here.
It's been a few days and Snacks keeps coming back. If he does, I'll live stream The Snack Shack again, which I took down because Snacks disappeared the very day I published his security camera for all of you to see.
Typical - VERY TYPICAL - owl behaviour.
💧 Maureen, The Unkillable
I nearly drowned her. That’s what it was. So all of her traps and leaves started to rot. I let her dry out and kept cutting off the blackened traps. She's now just a few tiny new traps big but she doesn't seem to be dying anymore.
I wasn't watering her, but she was outside in the rain and apparently couldn't dry out in time before the next rain. I now have her under my pergola and only water her myself.
After a near-death experience and a brief stint in hospice, Maureen has been upgraded to intensive care. She’s alert, she's recovering.
We’re both optimistic.
That’s the week.
The hot water was cold.
The cold air was hot.
The shorts are going back.
Sterling is resting comfortably at home.
And Maureen... god help her... is photosynthesizing again.
tuffy
Lol😂🤣!!!
Philip and Sterling are like the Odd Couple!! (If you’ve heard of that ancient show!)
Awesome fun post - thank you 🙏
Ps: fully agree on your comment on news sources …
Grammy
Here in the central valley of California, 104º in July is ordinary. But with your humidity AND what my mother and her friends always referred to as "The Change" when I was a child, I do seriously pity you for that kind of weather. Other than hot flashes at sometimes hilarious moments, I kind of breezed through it, while my best friend was ready to jump off a bridge if the water at the bottom would cool her down before she died. Good news (I hope) is that if Betty and your sisters didn't have too hard a time at menopause, you're probably going to be fine soon. I'm hoping that's your lot.
The rest of your week sounds like a pretty typical week for Karen in Canada. Some cool fun stuff, some crappy things-need-fixing stuff, a pair of shorts that could be remade into a raincoat for your tiny little body, some good things to eat, and Philip is a rowdy boy because -- just because. But the very best part of your week (for me) is that Maureen is rising from the dead. That's just thrilling. Seriously.
Thank you for a cheery post from this worn-out minion looking with disgust at what my country selected as the person to lead us (and I call bullshit on the lesser-of-two-evils when it relates to the two top fellows here). Happy late Canada Day to you and yours!
Mike
Sounds like a jammed packed week for your vacation! I was truly honoured having you attend our annual dahlia society’s garden party…and so happy that you won the “vintage” watering can!
Terry Rutherford
How do you manage such beautiful cauliflower? Mine looked like an alien brain, all segmented and different heights. Second year, same result. I suspect the heat snap, again, in April. Poodles have such unique personalities, can be such serious gentlemen, love them to bits. Welcome back, Snacks!
I am inordinately proud of the corn, grown in a dog enclosure, which I call “ the jail” so as to discourage the raccoons and squirrels (the dogs keep watch at night.) Last year, there were perhaps 10 kernels on each ear, it wasn’t pretty. But this year, ta dah!
Karen
Very nice! I'm not even closeeee to that yet. I may not even be harvesting until the end of September. :/ I had a couple of crazy cauliflower as well. It just got too hot for too long too quickly. I planted them in early April I believe. If I had kept them watered more consistently they would have matured a bit more quickly and I would have missed the heat wave. Alas. 😆 ~ karen!
Theresa Byer
Appreciate your humorous, but truth be told words!
Great read!
Karen
Thanks Theresa! ~ karen
Jenny Young
Dismantle capitalism & you won't be enjoying your blog anymore. You'll have lots of time for important things like trying to find food. We would seriously all be living in upside down land.
I do hope you get the hot & cold fixed. Our ac has been pouring out 10 gallons of water every 24 hrs pulling out the humidity from the air before cooling our house. Brutal. I save it to water my outdoor containers. But thankfully, I'm super cool indoors. Our AC bill was only $80 last month. I am thrilled.
The shorts...hilarious. My clothing sizes are all over the place depending on the brand, store & country they come from.
No week is bad with three garden parties, two floral arrangements & a new watering can...plus visits from Snack.
I keep thinking about buying a carnivore plant. I wonder if it would help with gnats in the kitchen?
It sounds like a lovely week with more good than bad.
Kim Kelley
menopause -- ah yes the b.tch
signed HOT in Alabama, not 104 hot but pretty sure we got ya beat on devil's breath so they say 105-107 "heat index"
yay
Jan in Waterdown
OK I gotta ask you about your pb of choice…. have you tried the Jif dark roast? Every time I open the jar I’m transported to my mid century youth, wafting along on the rich peanut aroma. It’s a game changer imho.
Karen
I like Jif if I'm getting a peanut butter for making peanut butter cookies or eating a spoonful. I have raw peanut butter in the fridge but this was not a raw, unsalted, unsweetened peanut butter kind of day. ~ karen!
Jan in Waterdown
Yah, so ya gotta try the dark roast for those kind of days!!
Sally
A lovely, eclectic roundup! Sterling and Snacks are delightful - as is your cutely dumpy little milk bottle, but a giant 'boo' to 40° and high humidity smacking straight into anyone’s menopause.
Catherine Hamilton
Thank you Karen for your posts. Your trials, tribulations and photos are so enjoyable! I hope your war with menopause is/will be a mild one. It isn't a fun war. Thanks for the mention of curried cauliflower soup. I have made it in the past, but I landed in a soup rut and forgot about that one.
DoIHaveTo?
Ha! I was wondering why a tiny thing like you would order a size 26 shorts, or anything 26 really.
If you're a 26 I really don't want to know what size I'd wear in your sizing system there. I'm sure it would be depressing.
Deborah G Kimbell
Do we all need a week from hell now and then to remind us of how lucky we are the rest of the time? Nah. Probably not. Sorry about the bad timing of your malevolent appliances. And that none of the parties you went to was air conditioned. You could have moved in.
On another note - since you mentioned Canada Day - may I just apologize on behalf of my countrypeople for the petty, ignorant, orange toad now occupying the White House and his unconscionable treatment of your country? I am sickened by it. We love you, Canada.
Chris W.
You absolutely nailed the description of the goon in charge. It's so hard to believe that his fellow goonies all think he's so wonderful when so many of us can see through all the "errors in judgement" he's made for our people and those who have always been our friends and allies around the world. May karma have the last laugh...
Nope
Not every one loves him or everything he does, but he's still the lesser of the two evils we had to choose from.
(To be fair, I describe every vote like this. You are not choosing who you want to be your friend, or who you think is cuter, you are choosing which one you think is the lesser of the two evils we have to choose from. And many of us do not want to become a communist nation as many on the other side are trying to make us. I will not be a slave of the government!
- says the retail worker, who aren't treated much better. And no, I haven't had health care / insurance in over 20 years and had to stop taking my medications, so now lots of problems. But that is on both sides.
Everyone, our leaders whoever they be at the time, need to stop bickering, stop trying to suck everybody else's $ away cause they want it all, and actually do something to help their country that they swore to serve! BOTH sides!
If you like your leaders, pray for them.
If you don't like your leaders, pray for them.
Ok rant lowered to a simmer. Apologies. Not for what was said, just for bursting a little.
Susan
Thank you Deborah.
Karen
Today I’m in the backyard smoking ribs, so—for now—the keel is even. :) As for Agent Orange, I’m always amazed that no matter what he does, the loyal stay loyal. To any fans of his who occasionally question his choices, I’d suggest this: listen to how other democratic countries report on America. Then compare that to the American news you usually consume. I’m stunned by how many people rely on a single news source. It’s like pest control in gardening—you don’t just use one method and hope for the best. You stack your defences.~ karen